Today is Ash Wednesday, the first day of Lent. From the Anglo-Saxon word “Lencten,” Lent means “long” or “to lengthen,” referring to the increasing hours of sunlight with the return of spring. The formalization of Ash Wednesday and its associated rituals, including the imposition of ashes, can be traced back to the early Middle Ages. The Christian community has historically commemorated the forty days leading up to Easter as a somber time of fasting, penitence, and self-reflection.
Growing up evangelical, I was completely unaware of Ash Wednesday, Lent, and the liturgical calendar. More recently, I was introduced to another Lenten ritual that continues to be the single most luminous moment of my life.
In February 2020, I “resigned” my C-suite position at a local evangelical non-profit ministry. My faith deconstruction pretty much got me fired. I could no longer keep quiet about all the problems I saw in conservative evangelicalism (patriarchy, homophobia, power politics, and the Trump cult). This not only made me the office heretic, but persona non grata on the leadership team. Hurt, angry, confused, alone, and traumatized, I cleaned out my desk, boarded a plane, and spent my first unemployed weeks in a London monastic house.
While abroad, I joined the Sisters of the Community of St. Francis in the daily office, and traipsed around London popping into pubs, paying homage at historic churches, and attending evensong at St. Paul’s. I even took a pilgrimage to Canterbury Cathedral. It was a magnificent trip, one that began my healing process. However, the Ash Wednesday service at Westminster Abbey is a night I will never forget.
Feeling a bit sorry for myself, and never one to forego the grim and macabre, I joined the throngs of locals and tourists alike for the imposition of ashes and the yearly reminder “You are dust, and to dust you shall return.” Unbeknownst to me, the Abbey boys choir has a Lenten tradition of their own. Each Ash Wednesday the young choristers sing Gregorio Allegri’s Miserere Mei at the service. A song so sacred, so arresting, it is said to be the single most beautiful piece of music ever written.
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